Quatrains of Pain

There is a pleasure in poetic pains
that only poets know,
they feel the stresses pulling strains
as words in ink come slow.

Iambic feet to build the lines
in groups of four and three,
the verse, it seems, the pen confines
when writing poetry.

Old William Cowper's short blunt line
that speaks a truth to me,
to sweet torture I shall resign
in verbal craft for thee.


© Jem Farmer 2008, all rights reserved.

Shadows of Existence

I dwell in the shadows of existence
Neither living nor dead I be.
The pulse of a heart in resistance
Kept on a brink of sanity.

As I look down into madness
And certain loss of life
The tears that flow with sadness
Cut like a pointless knife.

I yearn to fall into the dark deep
Let go of this dull enigma.
Leave the traces that have made me weep
Lose a label's hopeless stigma.

The razor blade cuts like ice
The veins seep a dark red
This time I did not think twice
I belong with the dead.

© Jem Farmer 2008, all rights reserved.

Dead Ends

The walls of thought are closing in my mind
There is no doorway out that I can find
I'm sealed in confusion like a trapped rat
No light to see as in darkness I'm sat
A dream of freedom brings a false message
I seek the answers, there is no passage
I cry in grief, then in frustration, shout
'Hide! Suicide is the only way out!'

© Jem Farmer 2008, all rights reserved.

Artwork by unknown

Prisoner

Outside reality inside my mind
The crowds of wilderness come
Invading, degrading all that is
Nothing matters, there is no calm
Fight for survival its an illusion
I have nothing more to give
The place I desire isn't here
I need to open that door
Just one step and I am free
The bonds of life are killing me
No good byes or loving farewells
Just depart mortality's hades
Lost from living can't see death
Dwelling in limbo is my prison
No release
No reprieve
No parole
Just hell

© Jem Farmer 2008, all rights reserved.

A Lonely Bell

A lonely bell will chime out today
It sings a saddened air
As death, a soul has claimed her way
No tears are shed to care

The silent whispers pry inside
Yet more deceit and hate
The false desires were her bride
That lay in fear to wait

A lonely bell will chime out today
It sings a saddened air
As death, a soul has claimed her way
No tears are shed to care

No thought nor want offered or took
Her heart lay used by love
The promise left in open book
Again no truth thereof

A lonely bell will chime out today
It sings a saddened air
As death, a soul has claimed her way
No tears are shed to care

Abused by those who swear of grace
In words that bear no hope
All meaningless the lies of face
Just pain at end of rope

A lonely bell will chime out today
It sings a saddened air
As death, a soul has claimed her way
No tears are shed to care

© Jem Farmer 2008, all rights reserved.

Crying From Behind the Wall

Can you see a wall in front of me?
That holds me tight never to be free.
A world in seclusion
It is no illusion
That wall will remain inside of me.

No bricks just pain and torture inside
In this dark place, I have to reside.
No freedom, no release
It will never decrease.
Ripped in half, sanity is denied.

Fear of happiness being a sign
That my mind is about to decline
To pits of regression
That is my depression
Often of life, I want to resign.

Bi polar the label, marks my soul
It’s only the drugs that make me whole
Lithium the answer
Like morphine to cancer
It is just a way of pain control.

Release me from this hell, let me fall
I’m tired of my life behind this wall
Always lost and alone
All my dreams come undone
One day I will be free of it all.

© Jem Farmer 2008, all rights reserved.

Leave Me Alone

Some days I get so angry with you, just let me be.
Those days I don’t thank you for not letting me die.
I just wanted to let go, from this hell be free.
Now it’s a struggle, a daily fight to get by.

You know my reasons, you say you understand.
How can you? How can you understand the black
inside me? I feel your hurt when I push away your hand,
each and every time my mind goes to a flashback.

I never know what each day will bring when I wake.
Will it be OK or will the memories sear through my mind.
Thanks to you I have no choice but to live with the heart ache,
What gives you the right to interfere? Do you think it kind?

Why did you stop me that night?
It could all be over now, no more battles to fight.

© Jem Farmer 2008, all rights reserved.

Stop

Jumbled together
a mass of nothing
Confused ramblings
from a broken brain.
Looking for beauty
in a world of barbed wire
Stop the world now
I want off

© Jem Farmer 2008, all rights reserved.

Living In Hell

No warning,



just attack my senses.



Anger and rage,



why does it haunt me?



Empty shell,



nothing left inside to hurt.



Nowhere to run



I can't hide from my mind.



Emotionally dead



bloody hell I wish I was too.

© Jem Farmer 2008, all rights reserved.